I know this because I recently joined a company where no one knows what they are doing. Some people have sort of an idea but it’s mostly really vague.
In an ominous sign for the UK prime minister Boris Johnson, Boris Johnson gave a complete vote of confidence in himself on Tuesday afternoon.
Boris Johnson – a man who – no one I have ever met has said they would like a drink with, seems to have fucked everything up.
I know this because I recently joined a company where no one knows what they are doing. Some people have sort of an idea but it’s mostly really vague. You can ask the same person the same question within the space of a week and get two, completely different answers.
And that, is exactly why you hear so many conflicting stories from leading members of the UK government.
Nobody has a clue.
Quite a lot of this was evident before David Cameron was accused of putting his cock in a dead pigs mouth.
If true, it certainly showed clear intent for the future of the Conservative Party.
These are, of course, highly intelligent men, so it would go without saything that their restroom hygiene is obvioulsy without reproach, even though the names Hancock, Cummings (and Boris Johnson with his BJ initials,) may give rise to unfair suspicions.
First it was Prime Minister Boris Johnson. Then, of all people Health Secretary Matt Hancock. Then Chief Medical Officer of England, Prof Chris Whitty. Now, Boris Johnson’s Chief Advisor Dominic Cummings, who was last seen running from Downing Street the other Friday, no doubt engaged in a heroic mission to save the country.
All of them have tested positive for Coronavirus. Covid-19. Novel Coronavirus.
And what could it be that has arrived us to a point where the UK Government is dropping out of a society that now does exist, to self isolate?
These are, of course, highly intelligent men, so it would go without saything that their restroom hygiene is obvioulsy without reproach, even though the names Hancock, Cummings (and Boris Johnson with his BJ initials,) may give rise to unfair suspicions. They certainly aren’t stupid enough to transgress social distancing etiquette, so what is the one variable left that can’t be easily measured in the scenario?
You’ve guessed it, they’ve been failing to sing Happy Birthday the required two times whilst cleaning their mitts. Thats’s right, after repeating their own advice to sing the ditty adnauseum, our lords and masters have allegedly, according to sources, only been singing Happy Birthday once in their heads, if at all, whilst washing their meat pumpers.
Here’s a handy guide to the current Conservative Party leadership candidates that have used drugs and their hypocritical and in some cases laughably pathetic excuses for doing so
After a lifetime of telling us drugs are bad and sending hundreds of thousands of drug users to prison, it turns out that the upper echelons of the Conservative party have somewhat of a penchant for illegal mind altering substances.
Yes, that’s right, the very people who have tasked themselves with a losing drug war battle that sees young children being forced into county lines gangs to supply illicit substances to middle Englanders in the shires, turn out to be the middle Englanders in the shires who have been taking the drugs themselves.
Whoever would have thought that the morally upstanding, stiff upper lip, leaders of the Conservative Party would have been smoking and snorting the substances that they’ve been warning us ruin lives, themselves.
Here’s a handy guide to the current Conservative Party leadership candidates that have used drugs and their hypocritical and in some cases laughably pathetic excuses for doing so…..
Michael Gove, Drug User: Cocaine
Michael Gove’s (Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs of the United Kingdom and Conservative Party leadership candidate) admission that he took cocaine on numerous occasions back in the nineties was the flame that lit the blue touch paper of the latest Conservative drug scandal.
Gove said of his experience to The Daily Mail:
“I took drugs on several occasions at social events more than 20 years ago,” he told the Daily Mail. “At the time I was a young journalist. It was a mistake. I look back and I think, I wish I hadn’t done that.”
Dominic Raab, Drug User: Cannabis
Dominic Raab (served as Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union from 9 July to 15 November 2018 and current Conservative Party leadership candidate) has admitted to smoking Cannabis whilst being a student, he said of his experience:
“It was a long time ago and pretty few and far between. I have never taken cocaine or any class-A drugs.”
Jeremy Hunt, Drug User (Cannabis)
Jeremy Hunt (Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs and Conservative Party Leadership Candidate) “thinks” he had a cannabis lassi whilst backpacking in India. His thoughts on taking the mind-altering substance were too boring to print.
Boris Johnson, Drug User (Cocaine and Cannabis)
Boris Johnson (former London Mayor and also former Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs – a position from which he was sacked for incompetence and Conservative Party leadership candidate) has admitted to taking cocaine and cannabis whilst at university. He expects us to believe that:
” it achieved no pharmacological, psychotropic or any other effect on me whatsoever”.
….and further still
“I think I was once given cocaine, but I sneezed and so it did not go up my nose. In fact, I may have been doing icing sugar.”
Andrea Leadsom, Drug User (Cannabis)
Andrea Leadsom (Leader of the House of Commons from 2017 to 2019 and Conservative Party leadership candidate) has admitted to smoking cannabis as a student, an experience about which she believes:
” Everyone is entitled to a private life before becoming an MP. “
…..and of course she threw in the old classic:
” I have never taken cocaine or class A drugs.”
Matt Hancock, Drug User (Cannabis)
Matt Hancock (Secretary of State for Health and Social Care and Conservative Party leadership candidate) “tried cannabis a few times as a student but has not taken any illicit drugs since.”
Rory Stewart, Drug User (Opium)
Rory Stewart (Secretary of State for International Development of the United Kingdom and Conservative Party Leadership Candidate) has to do everything differently it seems, Stewart said of his drug experience:
“I was invited into the house, the opium pipe was passed around at a wedding,” he said, adding that the family may have been so poor that they put very little opium into the pipe.”
…..so that means it was probably OK if he inhaled. Of course. Of course.
In a shocking development a candidate for the Conservative leadership has told his own party and the British public at large a fact about Brexit that probably resembles something approaching the truth.
Rory Stewart, who unlike all the other candidates actually appears to have lived a life, walked his talk and has a tongue that actually says something worth listening to, rather than using it to kiss Donald Trump’s backside has stated something that, whilst it might be common knowledge elsewhere, is having a hard time registering with the Tory faithful.
A “billionaire who founded an influential pro-Brexit thinktank has “a link with Russian intelligence,” according to a report in The Guardian.
An MP of the ruling British Conservative government has used parliamentary privilege to allege that a “billionaire who founded an influential pro-Brexit thinktank has “a link with Russian intelligence,” according to a report in The Guardian.
The report goes on to say that Bob Seely MP, used a speech in the House of Commons to suggest that Christopher Chandler, a billionaire who along with his brother made his fortune in Russia in the 1990’s, was previously under investigation by the French DST intelligence agency (the equivalent of UK’s MI5) on suspicion of working for Russian intelligence services.
Seely said he had seen the DST files, along with four other UK MP’s and he was convinced the files were genuine.
It just “oh-so-coincidentally” turns out that Chandler founded a Pro-Brexit lobby group, The Legatum Institute which has been lobbying British Government ministers intensely for a “Hard Brexit,” whereby Britain drops out of the EU and EU Customs union completely, falling back on WTO rules and tariffs, which most economists have suggested would be a disaster for the overall British economy.
According to The Guardian report “The Legatum Institute has advocated hard Brexit and has had significant influence on ministerial thinking, especially over trade policy,” and further goes on to allege that according to a Daily Mail investigation last year, the economics director of The Legatum Institute, “Shanker Singham, had met (UK Foreign Office Minister) Boris Johnson and (UK Environment Minister) Michael Gove, and had coordinated a letter written by them to (UK Prime Minister) Theresa May demanding a hard Brexit.”
What’s that you say, our old friend Boris Johnson, who had been so quick to paint the Leader of Her Majesties Opposition, Jeremy Corbyn as a communist traitor in a made up story that even Conservative BBC commentator Andrew Neil dismissed as hogwash…..
….has been hob nobbing and deciding Brexit policy with alleged Russian operatives?…….yes, that’s right, the same Boris Johnson who has been at the centre of mysterious claims of meeting with the “Russian Professor” who had links with a supposed plot by Putin to swing the Brexit vote in favour of leave by many nefarious means…..
Yes, that’s it, it’s the same Boris Johnson who finds himself neck deep in Russian plots and intrigue linked to Brexit but instead of looking at himself, he imagines he sees others knee-deep in Russian intrigue everywhere.
So, let’s note another similarity that Johnson shares with his (now, when it suits him) beloved Donald Trump – The ability to project his own reckless and unwise actions onto others that he doesn’t like very much.
Time to get a mirror Boris, we’ve all seen ya, it’s time to take a good look at yourself!
Bombastic Boris Johnson has been a busy little bee over the last week or so. Tubthumping the cause for British citizens who have been poisoned in the sanctuary and relative safety of Salisbury, Johnson has been our man to stand up to the Russians whilst beating the drum of national security and berating the leader of the opposition for not being tougher against those who would seek to do Britain harm.
But why, one may ask, has our Boris been so late to see the Russian threat?
Could it be that before the events of last week, Boris Johnson was content to let the Russians meddle in UK politics, as it helped him and his cronies Brexit agenda, and he thought he wouldn’t be found out?
The memory of the mainstream press is notoriously impaired and it is doubtful that it could remember but a few short months ago, Johnson opining that he had seen no evidence anywhere of Russia interfering in the vote in favor of Brexit.
Let’s go back to a report in The Guardian in November 2017 which reported that, when asked about possible foreign interference in Britain, Boris Johnson replied:
“I haven’t seen a sausage.”
So we go from Johnson not being able to see a sausage, to Johnson being convinced without a doubt that the Russians attempted to murder two British citizens in Salisbury…..and he thinks he won’t be picked up on his previous treasonous lack of judgment?
The Guardian report goes on to assert:
“The revelation comes as the Observer investigation into foreign influence places him in a web of relationships between a known Russian spy, Sergey Nalobin, expelled from Britain in 2015, and Matthew Elliott, the chief executive of Vote Leave, the official Leave campaign headed by Johnson.”